I grew up in a household where having (excessive) debt was normalized, due to our circumstances. My parents weren’t earning much but they needed to provide and my guess is, at some point – with all the bills piling up – they decided going into debt was the only way to do so. And for some reason banks decided it was a good idea to lend them more than could handle. It led to debt spiral that we are dealing with decades later.
As I grew up, I recognize that having to provide is a valid reason but the point it got to feels just reckless – during the debt spiral and paying off one loan with another they seem to have given up on trying to fix the situation. And they woke up pretty late in the process, making them lose so much money in interest payments and any opportunity to save up… Situation is more under control now and most of the debt is paid off now but it took its toll on how I view money for sure.
Even if it was painful, it was an important lesson for me, going through this as a teenager. On my own, I have never had a credit card. Taking out any loan feels dangerous. I have had two loans in my life that I paid off and I refuse to take any in the future. I wish I had money saved up back then and could have paid outright for things I needed those loans to cover. I would rather go without, than go into debt. What if I end up spiraling just like my parents did?
As I mentioned in my introduction to my No Buy Year, we are looking into buying a house with my husband. Mortgage also scares me but there’s no other way for us to do it – buying cash is definitely not an option. I don’t play the lottery. So mortgage it is…
We try to plan our finances carefully and assess all the costs upfront. As we were talking about certain things we need to get and do, I declared that we should put off and save up for some of them. We can wait couple more months after we close for certain things and we don’t need to get them right away. It would be nice to be able to do that, but our budget is tight.
And then my husband said “I can go into red in my account”. No, honey, you cannot. I quickly tried to extinguish this idea in his mind. Going into red in your account, while we take on a huge amount of debt like mortgage is just a first step to spiral, just like my parents did. I guess being poor taught me more patience than he can exhibit. We grew up in completely different households. You wait for the next paycheck. You wait with big purchases. You simply don’t have the money. It’s okay. It can wait. You can wait for a miracle. Money is scary.
That’s why budgeting and saving money is important to me. Learn from other’s mistakes. Go without. I cannot say that I have been doing great in this regard and I have definitely used shopping as a therapy in the past but No Buy Year is the year of changing habits. I document my journey on this blog. If you’d like to join me, please consider subscribing to this blog.
Till next time!
xoxo,
Aleksandra
No Buy Year 
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